i realize i can't trust people now.
i don't know how to give my trust to them after what have happened to me.

there came another.
and he has been nice.
but i can't help but to think it's not that simple.
that it must be a prank played on me.
that i can never find the right one.
i will think and assume alot.

and the thought of not knowing what's he doing worries me
it will apply to anyone

how i'll always think why me?
there are so many better ones, prettier ones out there.. but why me?
and then i'll think again, maybe it's just purely friends
and the words used are very common
maybe he has been using it to everyone

i can't seems to trust anyone now and it's scary

So that's how it's like.
When someone likes you more than you like that person.
Now I know.

You think it's bliss, maybe
While I find it stressful
Geez..

quite disappointing...
but it was stupid of me to hope...

i thought of talking to him...
but his msg just came right on time to stop me from doing so.
it wasn't positive

maybe it's better this way..
so the craving will end
and i won't rely on you that much

tell me what i did was right.

again & again, disappointments from them.
like it's part of my life...
yes stephen zhuo, you used to be one of them...

dun let it drag anymore...
torturous~

i told myself to move on...
i did..
but no doubt, i can't deny the fact that seeing him online gave me a peace of mind.
i felt secured

but when he went offline, i got all flustered again...
he didn't do justice to me,
close freinds ask me stay away from him.
but...

i just can't accept the fact that he left without a single word...
nothing...
like we never knew each other before...
that's so unfair

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

the endurance to not contacting jon came again...
something which i told myself to do...
though it was unbearable at times, but it's something i've to overcome...
a reliance i should not build.
i always have the urge to hear his voice, even if there's nothing to talk about, but i know i can't. he has his difficulties while i do not want to be dependent.

dreaming to ease the crave,
entering the beautified world...
thats why i felt like sleeping all the time.
talking to him is like inducing drugs...
it's addicitve...
but he has his commitment

silly girl like me is everywhere

I've realised everytime when i told my friends that there is this guy that might actually work out, it didn't in the end, therefore i've decided to keep quiet. I'm not gonna tell anyone anymore unless it's stable. Geez. 3 guys, 2 didn't work out because of it while the other one shldn't work out in the 1st place. This is so vexing!!

Another new year resolution: Can i don't be single anymore?

ARGH!

I don't want to spend christmas alone anymore, don't want to spend my birthday alone anymore, don't want valentine time day to be meaningless for me anymore!! 

Just let me meet one. One is enough! Just one and jeannie will behave...

Santa can you hear me, I have been so good this year
All i want is one thing, tell me my true love is here...

i read the fortune book for year 2007 and the book say i will work out with someone with the zodiac of a pig and coincidentally, 'Wilson Tan' is a pig... Hahaha~ But Wilson is so not sure of himself. Maybe there's another pig out there waiting for me? Hurhur... Where & Who is my PIG den?

with my looks, i can't imagine still got guys wanna add me.
it just simply show how desperate sporean guys are
haiz..
quite disappointing lah
but nonetheless, i'm happy
at least still got ppl want me :)

EX-candy might be going mambo tml
lets kiss some asses man!

I don't know what's wrong with me. But when i saw Candy's ex-gf profile in friendster my mood simply drop. The only thing i can think of is: Jeannie, you lose. You are not fit for him. Damn, that feeling sucks. Me and him suddenly seems poles apart like we're from 2 different world. 

There's this voice that keep saying: "He is not the one for you." And just now our conversation was abit cold. I thought he was playing the cold shoulder game. But it seems his msn was down and so was mine. I really can't help but to think that God is telling me to give up. Maybe i should. Haiz, sound to drama. 

Anyway i think it's going to end soon. This whole thing i mean cos somehow i can see it. Both of us ain't progressing the right way. 

Till then... 

Sucky feeling!!